Life mein bahut tarah ke experiences hote hain kuch khatte to kuch meethe, Bahut tarah ke logon se mulaqaaten hoti hain, kuch log kapde par lage halke se daag ki tarah waqt ka pani padte hi dhul jaate hain, aur kuch stains life long rehte hain, jub tak aap ki life rehti hai.
Maine bhi apni choti si zindagi mein bahut se logon se mulaqaat ki jo apni chaap kuch din hi choodh paate hain, magar main ye zaroor kahoonga ke kuch logon ko hum Ctrl+Alt+Del karne ke bavajood jub apne deemag ko thoda aaram aur sukoon dene ke liye flash back mein le jaa kar boot karte hain to vo kisi screen par pop-ups ki tarah phir se numaya ho jaate hain. Sabse badi baat ye hai ki in mein se kuch log bade daravne hote hain..ghabraye nahin main Ram Gopal Varma ki bhoot se impress nahin hoon aur un ke shakl ki baat nahin kar raha hoon. Balke unke betuke sawal jo na jaane kahan se unke zehen mein aate hain, aur us par sitam ye ki unhe lagta hai ki ye sawal aaj tak kisi ne nahin kia hoga, ya yun kahen ke is sawal ko poochne ke baad vo apne aap ko kisi detective novel ya film ka protagonist samjhne lagte hain. Sawal poochte hi unke chehre par halki si hansi is tarah phoontti hai manon unhone kisi drug smuggler se uske adde ke bare mein baat uglva lia ho aur agla bharat rattan vo apni almarih mein hi saja dekh rahe hoon. Aise logon se bada darr lagta hai.
Apni dastan aage badhane se pehle main ek chotta sa qissa batana chahta hoon, Main ek Radio Jockey hoon, aur meri pareshani yahin se shuru ho jaati hai. Logon ko lagta hai ki RJ ka matlab hai bolna aur sirf bolna vo bhi bina kisi baat ke, bina kisi topic ke bilkul hamare desh ke leaders ki tarah jo kya bolte hain isse kisi ko matlab kam hi hota hai. Main kuch din pehle ek dost ki birthday party mein pahuncha aur usne ye keh kar logon se milvaya ki ye RJ hain. Bus phir kya tha, ek zoo mein aaye hue naye janvar ki tarah log mujhe hairat se dekh rahe the, ticket hi lag jaata mere dekhne par to thoda sukoon milta, magar baat yahan par khatam nahin hui ek sajjan mere pass aaye aur bole “zara bol kar dikhaiye”…pehle to mujhe laga ki shayad unhe shak tha ki ye insaan to goonga hoga ye kahan bol sakta hoga. Jab maine unse poocha “ Matlab” to janab ne kaha ki “radio par jis tarah bolte hain us tarah boliye, meri beti sunna chahti hai” aur phir bina mera reaction dekhe ya sunee, aavaz lagai “arre Anuradha beti yahan aao jaldi se..maza aaye ga”. Bataye, main koi hukkoo Bandar hoon ki aavaz lagaoon to log taali bajayenge.
Ek sajjan to keh baithe ki “aap apne show mein sher bahut acche sunate hain zara ek dil tootne par sher humen bhi suna deejiye”. Sher na ho gaya vo pan masala ho gaya jo thoda sa unhe bhi de doon. Tez music chal rahi hai, afrah tafreeh ka mahool hai, Cake katne wala hai, is mauqe par unhe main dil tootne par sher suna doon !! Bataiye aise log aap ko mil jayen to aap kya karenge? By the way maine unhe ye keh kar taal dia ki mujhe yaad nahin hai aur main sher ki kitab se sher padhta hoon.
Rukiye rukiye baat yahan khatam nahin hui, poori mehfil mein vo saab mere hi paas khade rahe aur thodi thodi der ke baad apne mobile ke inbox mein pade hue bekaar sher mujhe sunate rahe. Aur vo umar mein itne bade the ki main daant pees kar sirf plastic smile dene ke alava kuch nahin kar pa raha tha. Yahan tak ki us mehfil ke baad to mujhe jaise shayri se hi nafrat ho gai. Baar baar mujhe marhoom sagar khyaami ka vo sher yaad aa raha tha, jo unhone un police walon ke liye kaha tha jinki duty mushayre mein laga dee jaati hai aur vo subah tak aadhe shayar ban jaate hain.
“raftaa raftaa har police vaale ko shaayar kar diyaa mahafil-e-sher-o-sukhan mein bhej kar sarakaar ne ek qaidii subah ko phaansii lagaa kar mar gayaa raat bhar Gazalen sunaain us ko thaanedaar ne”.
Agli baar aap ko kuch aur tarah ke logon se milvaoonga, Pata nahin ye log mujhse hi kyun takrate hain ?
Maine bhi apni choti si zindagi mein bahut se logon se mulaqaat ki jo apni chaap kuch din hi choodh paate hain, magar main ye zaroor kahoonga ke kuch logon ko hum Ctrl+Alt+Del karne ke bavajood jub apne deemag ko thoda aaram aur sukoon dene ke liye flash back mein le jaa kar boot karte hain to vo kisi screen par pop-ups ki tarah phir se numaya ho jaate hain. Sabse badi baat ye hai ki in mein se kuch log bade daravne hote hain..ghabraye nahin main Ram Gopal Varma ki bhoot se impress nahin hoon aur un ke shakl ki baat nahin kar raha hoon. Balke unke betuke sawal jo na jaane kahan se unke zehen mein aate hain, aur us par sitam ye ki unhe lagta hai ki ye sawal aaj tak kisi ne nahin kia hoga, ya yun kahen ke is sawal ko poochne ke baad vo apne aap ko kisi detective novel ya film ka protagonist samjhne lagte hain. Sawal poochte hi unke chehre par halki si hansi is tarah phoontti hai manon unhone kisi drug smuggler se uske adde ke bare mein baat uglva lia ho aur agla bharat rattan vo apni almarih mein hi saja dekh rahe hoon. Aise logon se bada darr lagta hai.
Apni dastan aage badhane se pehle main ek chotta sa qissa batana chahta hoon, Main ek Radio Jockey hoon, aur meri pareshani yahin se shuru ho jaati hai. Logon ko lagta hai ki RJ ka matlab hai bolna aur sirf bolna vo bhi bina kisi baat ke, bina kisi topic ke bilkul hamare desh ke leaders ki tarah jo kya bolte hain isse kisi ko matlab kam hi hota hai. Main kuch din pehle ek dost ki birthday party mein pahuncha aur usne ye keh kar logon se milvaya ki ye RJ hain. Bus phir kya tha, ek zoo mein aaye hue naye janvar ki tarah log mujhe hairat se dekh rahe the, ticket hi lag jaata mere dekhne par to thoda sukoon milta, magar baat yahan par khatam nahin hui ek sajjan mere pass aaye aur bole “zara bol kar dikhaiye”…pehle to mujhe laga ki shayad unhe shak tha ki ye insaan to goonga hoga ye kahan bol sakta hoga. Jab maine unse poocha “ Matlab” to janab ne kaha ki “radio par jis tarah bolte hain us tarah boliye, meri beti sunna chahti hai” aur phir bina mera reaction dekhe ya sunee, aavaz lagai “arre Anuradha beti yahan aao jaldi se..maza aaye ga”. Bataye, main koi hukkoo Bandar hoon ki aavaz lagaoon to log taali bajayenge.
Ek sajjan to keh baithe ki “aap apne show mein sher bahut acche sunate hain zara ek dil tootne par sher humen bhi suna deejiye”. Sher na ho gaya vo pan masala ho gaya jo thoda sa unhe bhi de doon. Tez music chal rahi hai, afrah tafreeh ka mahool hai, Cake katne wala hai, is mauqe par unhe main dil tootne par sher suna doon !! Bataiye aise log aap ko mil jayen to aap kya karenge? By the way maine unhe ye keh kar taal dia ki mujhe yaad nahin hai aur main sher ki kitab se sher padhta hoon.
Rukiye rukiye baat yahan khatam nahin hui, poori mehfil mein vo saab mere hi paas khade rahe aur thodi thodi der ke baad apne mobile ke inbox mein pade hue bekaar sher mujhe sunate rahe. Aur vo umar mein itne bade the ki main daant pees kar sirf plastic smile dene ke alava kuch nahin kar pa raha tha. Yahan tak ki us mehfil ke baad to mujhe jaise shayri se hi nafrat ho gai. Baar baar mujhe marhoom sagar khyaami ka vo sher yaad aa raha tha, jo unhone un police walon ke liye kaha tha jinki duty mushayre mein laga dee jaati hai aur vo subah tak aadhe shayar ban jaate hain.
“raftaa raftaa har police vaale ko shaayar kar diyaa mahafil-e-sher-o-sukhan mein bhej kar sarakaar ne ek qaidii subah ko phaansii lagaa kar mar gayaa raat bhar Gazalen sunaain us ko thaanedaar ne”.
Agli baar aap ko kuch aur tarah ke logon se milvaoonga, Pata nahin ye log mujhse hi kyun takrate hain ?
